“Shut the **** up Cortana & Alexa!”

We all know how the marvels of modern technlogy assist us and make our lives easier with automated  voices that won’t shut up and you can’t turn off, insult, or offend.  And also how when you are busy writing a message on Whatsap it helpfully finishes words for you, or after you think you’ve got it perfect, goes in and switches things around …

So Werner, one of my helpful friends who knows I’m struggling with limited supplies of “Vitamin R” [our state being “dry” to help fighting coronavirus … not sure how that works.  It seems to me that if alcohol cleans the germs off your hands, injesting it only makes sense, but nobody asked me] Whatsapped me the following message and advice:

“Heard a Dr on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives.  So I looked through the house to find all the things I started but haven’t finished … So I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bottle of Baileys, a butle [a yes, thank you Whatsap for the codrrection!] of wyn [see previous comment], the mainder of Valiunum scriptuns, a a box of chocletz.  Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now.  Sned this to all who need inner piss.  An telum u luvum!”

Happy total quarantine!

4pm Palmira Panama