Have I Got A House for You!

Sean Hannity posted a list on his SeanHannity.com bog of 15 Celebrities Who Will Be Leaving The United States Today and apparently Mr. Hannity was wishing them all good riddance.  Apparently all 15 had promised to leave if Trump got elected and Hannity is supporting and encouraging their moves.

Well, folks, you are all welcome in Panama!  And I have a house for you!  It’s beautiful, on a coffee estate of 3.5 beautiful acres, a private, serene paradise: Paraíso Tranquilo

I am delighted to welcome these prospective buyers!

1. Jon Stewart – Comedian

“[I’m] getting in a rocket and going to another planet, because clearly this planet’s gone bonkers.”

Jon, you’ll find it a lot easier to get to Panama with direct flights from/to the US, Canada and Europe!

2. Chelsea Handler – Comedian

“All these people that threaten to leave the country and then don’t — I actually will leave that country.”

According to the Web site DECIDER, “Out of all of the current late night hosts, Handler has always been the most emotive and authentic, letting her naturally snarky and cool demeanor drive the show rather than relying on a more constructed persona … Because of this reliance on authentic, unguarded reactions, Chelsea has had the ability to emotionally hit harder than than the show’s late night peers, and this is especially true concerning the host’s response to the 2016 election.”

Cry for joy Chelsea! You’ll find peace, tranquility and inspiration at Paraíso Tranquilo and you can get a direct flight from Panama to Los Angeles.

3. Miley Cyrus – Singer

Cyrus said she’s “Gonna vom/move out da country” if Trump wins.

Miley, you’ll find lots of “Happy Hippies” in Boquete, maybe a little older than you, but, even although pot isn’t “legal” in Panama, the country is bigger than you may think with lots of remote, open spaces, and many of the gringos in Boquete have found ways to keep on keeping on as Happy Hippies.

4. Neve Campbell – Actress

Campbell vowed to move back to Canada if Trump wins.

Neve, why do  you think so many Canadians are moving to Panama?  Think lady, think.  There are direct flights from Panama to Canada so if you need a fix of frigid you can always get home, eh?

5. Lena Dunham – Comedian

“I love Canada. I think that it’s a great place, and there’s an area in Vancouver that I find beautiful and appealing, and I can conduct business from there.”

Seriously?   You’re joking right?  There are lots of “great places” to visit in the world, but you wouldn’t want to live there.  If Canada’s so great [and I do grant you that it’s a fantastic place to visit!] why are so many Canadians moving to Panama.

6. Cher – Singer/Actress

“If [Trump] were to be elected, I’m moving to Jupiter.”

Jupiter?  Come on lady.  At 70 you’ve earned the right to be a crotchety old lady, but how much media attention do you think you’ll get on Jupiter?  Unlike Panama, Jupiter [unless we’re talking about Jupiter, Florida, which I hardly imagine!] you don’t have direct flights to New York and LA like you do from Panama.

7. Al Sharpton – Activist

“I’m also reserving my ticket to get out of here if he wins. Only because he’d probably have me deported anyhow.”

Al, or should I say “Reverend Sharpton”, as one “Reverend” to another: it’s not that easy to deport someone … or else former Panamanian President Martinelli wouldn’t be still sitting in his Miami condo.  If it were easy I suspect you and Reverend Jessie would be long gone.  But seriously, I can’t think of a better place to retire, relax, take a break, and commune with God than surrounded by the beauty of Panama.  Come on down!

8. Spike Lee – Director

Spike, my man, you will find a four-year hiatus in Panama to inspire you and stimulate your creativity in a way you never imagined possible.  And we’re just a few hours direct flight to New York and Los Angeles.  

9. Barbra Streisand – Singer

Promised to move to Australia or Canada if Trump wins.

I can see the Gold Coast of Australia, but Canada?  Senior citizens like us do better in the warmth of the Tropics.

 10. Amy Schumer – Comedian

“My act will change because I will need to learn to speak Spanish. Because I will move to Spain or somewhere. It’s beyond my comprehension if Trump won.”

Well he won.  Learning Spanish is a good idea but I don’t know if it will help your act.  Panama, however, is a very accepting, and forgiving, country, forgiving unless you happen to be a former President accused of plundering the nation.

11. Samuel L. Jackson – Actor

“If that motherf*cker becomes president, I’m moving my black ass to South Africa.”

Suggest talking with Trevor Noah before hauling your “black ass to South Africa.”  Panama may offer a whole lot more than moving to Africa. Believe it or not Abraham Lincoln thought so when he advanced a plan to resettle former slaves in Chiriqui, Panama!

12. George Lopez – Comedian

“If he wins, he won’t have to worry about immigration. We’ll all go back.”

Obviously the country will get rolled back, but are you talking about going back …  back where?  Back to LA where you were born?   If you speak Spanish, which many folks from the LA area do whether they are Latinos or Anglos, this would definitely be a big plus moving to Panama.

14.Raven-Symoné – TV Host

The talk show host promised to move to Canada “if any Republican gets nominated.”

Describing you merely as a “TV Host” kind of misses a few things, but anyway, what’s this big fascination with Canada you guys have.  Nice place, but … again, why are so many Canadians moving to Panama?  Everytime I do a blog about escaping to paradise it gets more hits from Panama than the US!  There must be some reason since I have no relatives on few FB friends in Canada.

15. Whoopi Goldberg – Comedian/TV Host

“Maybe it’s time for me to move, you know. I can afford to go.”

“I can afford to go” meaning, like Trump, you are fabulously rich?  I assume you’re talking about affording to move outside the US and not to the hereafter as in “ready to go.”  Love you Whoopi and, hell, you can afford to build your own TV studio in Boquete.

16. Bryan Cranston –  Actor

“I would definitely move. It’s not real to me that would happen. I hope to God it won’t.”

Bryan, news to you and the Christian right who blessed and supported Trump despite his multitude of transgressions: God has more on his mind right now than US politics.  But if you want to be in touch with God, I can’t think of a better place than high in the Chiriqui Mountains of Panama.

Even, and especially, if you don’t have or want to shed all the trappings of celebrity, you will find Panama to be a welcoming and accepting country.  Throughout it’s history Panama has been and continues to be the crossroads of the world.  Here you will find people of all colors, ethnicity, religion living together striving to build a “new” and growing nation.